Just Remember One Thing: Never Forget Your Roots!

My husband has this silly saying he occasionally repsonds with during conversation.

At first I dismissed it as just another try hard Tupac line I really had no interest in being enlightened by. But then he would somehow make it applicable to just about any scenario in which we were discussing someone with a out of this world ego, selfish persona, a individual who seems to have just “changed,” or anybody who thinks their too good for the colour of their own skin or where they come from.

That’s when I realized the value of ones roots — and how detrimentally devastating it can be to those around you (and even yourself) if you do in fact; forget your roots.

What it means to have roots and be proud of them is to know who you are and what makes you that way. It’s to take pride of the circumstances which have contributed the building of your character, values, and attributes.

Be those traits good or bad – you must pay homage to the foundation from which you have risen no matter where you end up in life.

This means you don’t simply allow people who were once your closest friends fall by the wayside and become mere acquaintances, you don’t forget to appreciate all that your parents and closest loved ones poured into you in order for you to be YOU. It means that no matter how wide your wings spread, or how far you may go in life – you always remember to appreciate your roots. The bits of you which still exist deep within your soul but you may not have the conscience morale to face and allow to still be visible to world.

It’s not about being bigger, better, and growing out of your past. It’s about learning to bring those parts of you into your present, and never allowing anything or anyone tear them away from you.

Integrity is seldom to come by these days. And I am so very proud to have a husband firmly grounded in his roots, so very so that they stretch into the ones being formed while we raise our son – creating a indestructible base for him to grow from.

So as you read this – I must ask you… When’s the last time you thought about who, what, and where you come from, and what’s holding you back from appreciating all of that?

One cannot excel to everything the world has to offer without flourishing from the inside out first.

Mom Life: Onward & Upward

There’s certain life events which are definitively life altering. You think of your life as two ends of a spectrum on either side of this event. For many mothers – this point of revolution is the day they became a parent.

Life before baby was fairly uncomplicated. I worked for my family business, was a fairly decent wife, daughter-in-law, and daughter. And generally just kept to myself basking in the simple joys of an occasional movie night or take-out meal.

Then came the on a loop blurred together few months of motherhood involving diaper changes, feeds, difficult to induce burps, and gummy smiles to keep you chuggin’ along.

Sure I complain about all the challenges supporting a wee little life brings, but you know what I have come to realize now that I’ve come up for some air at the one year mark. That parenthood is pretty dang awesome.

The positive changes of becoming a parent are something that no one really talks about. Aside from the obvious – having an unconditional eternal promise of love straight from the depths of your soul directly into a mini-me version of yourself. There’s also the fact that if you’re the ‘type-a’ personality type like myself – you’re not going to take your new role as a mother lightly.

Meaning in every aspect, at every moment, you will devote your absolute entire being to becoming the best in every form relevant to your child.

I quickly learned that in order to be a good mom I needed a few key factors to fall into place. They weren’t easy to come by but my oh my are they essential to keeping your marbles and being able to utilize them in the best way possible.

For starters, you need some decent amount of chunked together sleep. Not an hour here, and hour there, while blearily fumbling for the soother in the middle of the night then failing to get it into your child’s mouth hoping for just five more minutes of solitude. No, I mean actual quality disturbance free sleep. Here’s where the benefit of living with extended family comes in (yes there’s perks too).

When my body was still healing and I was recovering from the throes of childbirth I used to hand off my child for some one on one (or two on one) grandparent time in the wee hours of the morning and shove my face back into my pillow and sleep like I had never slept before.

Just those two consecutive hours of sleep were all I needed in order to feel like an actual human being again.

Then once I started getting my footing as a parent and moving about at a normal pace and fashion wasn’t so daunting – I realized I needed to feel good about myself again.

So began my trek to “shed the baby weight.” I yoga-ed, I ran, I dieted, and the results came.

It wasn’t easy, and it still isn’t, but the emotional and physical improvements are enough to keep me going on this path of self-improvement.

A year is all it took for me to realize that my child has truly brought out the best in me. Aspects of myself that I didn’t even know existed are now what brings me the self-confidence and happiness to keep going and keep smiling while I am at it.

Everyone speaks of the sleepless nights and how they miss their freedom – but let’s not forget that having a kid is a huge increase of responsbility which brings about SO MUCH good in your life.

Having my son has pushed me out of my comfort zone (that started with the very first pre-natal doctor’s visit). There are very few situations in which I feel shy or anxious anymore. Before just simple exchanges at the grocery store would send my stomach into knots. Now I sincerely don’t give a shit what people think or say about me.

I wake up earlier that I ever thought I would just to get a head start to my day. I spend extra time cleaning, getting ready, eating healthy before the sun even rises sometimes just to start off on the right foot.

All these little changes are what add up to really mean something in the grand scheme of things. By changing my habits for the better, I am not only happier with my own self, but I am setting the best example for my son as well.

I never thought a tiny person would have such a huge influence on my life. But he’s the reason I do what I do and I will continue to improve myself just for his well-being! Because that’s what it means to truly love your offspring, putting them above yourself, regardless of the circumstances, and no matter how challenging it may seem at the time.

Are you a do nothin’ b*tch?

It’s easy to be complacent. Take the easy road. Trust me, I’d be the first to know. But it sure isn’t easy to live with yourself after you do so.

The other day I was driving home and heard the local radio host talking about the famous female fighter Rhonda Rousey. They played a snippet of her speaking about how she raised to not be a “do nothing bitch.” She said that her mother was determined for her to be more than just a pretty girl who is a “do nothin’ bitch.” Basically, someone who just floats through life carelessly and without aspiration because they’re a pretty girl fitting into a role of what’s expected of them.

For a long time I struggled with feeling like I was one of these. I just couldn’t find the exact term for it. But now there it is. Extremely clear and staring me right in the face. And I am determined to not fall into that mould and be lost in this belittling title of simply existing in the shadows of others.

When I was in school I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment. That was my identity, that was who I was and what I lived for. To be the absolute best student I could be and I just thrived off the praise I got for my impressive grades. Well as we know all good things come to an end and I couldn’t be a professional student forever – so I ended up simply graduating and then getting married, not pursuing a career in my field of education.

This was mistake number one.

Believing that I would be okay assisting my husband reach his goals in life and not having any of my own was a major blunder. But not something irrevocably disastrous. I am happy to say I have managed to find my way and be okay with my daily ongoings – having a baby has a way of filling your day pretty darn quick.

This isn’t to say this is all I have set out for myself, to be a stay at home mom for the rest of my life. That would be mistake number two – one not quite as easy to bounce back from once my nest is empty.

Pouring yourself into those you love can be a very easy excuse to not DO SOMETHING with your life. It’s easy to just merely exist and not make the years in your life worth anything. Time goes by quickly, and before you know it – you might hear a term like “do nothin’ bitches” and think damn, that’s me. But it’s never too late to create change.

I see so many misguided youth obsessing over all the wrong things – just as I was. A fairytale wedding, marriage, and living happily ever after with your spouse and kids. Well I’ll tell ya – things just aren’t as cookie cutter perfect as that. There’s so much more life throws at you when you don’t set things up to be the most optimal for your own success and happiness.

So for God’s sakes stop spending your time browsing wedding inspo accounts on instagram, or you tubing the perfect slideshow song for your wedding receptions. Get out there, and DO SOMETHING, or else you might find yourself feeling like someone’s b*tch, whose really not doing a whole lot of anything.

5 ways to improve your life RIGHT NOW!

Before you click away, I promise you this isn’t a cliche post about the new year being here and this being all the ways you can reinvent yourself.

Instead, what I am aim to do here is share what has worked for me to not just improve my life but change it drastically.

1.) GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND GET MOVING! 

There are no words to explain how incorporating exercise into my daily life has improved my physical and mental health. We hear it time and time again but there’s a reason everyones always harping on about working out – its because it works. It really can change a horrible day to a better one. It can change your outlook from being miserable and sullen to optimistic and cheerful. It’s like a dose of happiness in the form of dedication, vigour, and sweat. So join some sort of fitness class – for me yoga has been a beckoning savour to my sanity.

Closing myself into that heated room and forgetting everything I did before class and everything I have to do after class while pushing my mental and physical self to the absolute limit changed my life! I promise it’ll change yours too, just find what works best for you. Run, walk, skip, hop, lift weights or just shake your booty for half an hour a day- just MOVE.

2.) KEEP A CLEAN ENVIRONMENT 

I’m a person whose hands start moving before my mind does. If something is bothering me, there is something so gratifying about being able to sweep and push away physical remnants of junk in order to clear my mind of all the crap floating around and stressing me out. I love being able to sort, organize, and just CLEAN until I feel better. It gives me a sense of control. That at least I can sort out some aspect of my life. Plus, when you’re in a clean environment, your thoughts are clearer, your attitude is better, and you are able to focus more on other important things rather than being suffocated by the surrounding mess.

3.) PUT EFFORT INTO YOUR APPEARANCE

I’m a little wishy washy on this one. As I sit here in my umpteenth messy bun of the day and my husband’s oversized t-shirt some may say I am full of it when I tell you to look good to feel good. But I honestly know for a fact that when you have combed clean hair, freshly applied lipstick, and a nice pair of jeans on – you just feel more put together, and more capable of handling the trials of your day. Looking in the mirror and liking what you see boosts your confidence, and a confident soul is a powerful one.

4.) ZONE OUT THE BULLSH*T 

I know, I know, it’s easier said than done. But it is so essential to a healthy mindset to just not pay any attention to things that drag you down. Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil is the best way to approach life sometimes. Anyone who is a nuisance or annoyance to you shouldn’t have so much power over your emotional well-being. Tell yourself they’re beneath you, and do not gratify them with creeping into the depths of your mind and emotional state.

5.) SET GOALS, AND ACTUALLY REACH THEM 

Life is all about creating the best version of ourselves. Take each day as a chance to sharpen and define your vision of what you want out of YOUR life. Continually reassess what’s around you and how it makes you feel. If one too many things don’t sit right, create change. Set goals and strive to achieve them. Always be on a journey of growth!

Well there you have it folks! The secret to the perfect happy life – yeah, I know not really. But you can get pretty darn close if you apply at least some of what I have listed above.

What’s all your opinion on these five tips? Do you have some of your own you’d like to share, or do you think I am spot on with this? Feel free to leave a comment below sharing your thoughts!

Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems 

The other night my husband and I decided to do something we rarely give much thought to … make a budget plan. 

We wrote down all our expenses which consisted of our “necessities.” When it was all done the monthly total was a slightly ridiculous amount. Then I stopped and really looked at the list of things we typically spend money on – sure baby food is a necessity so that aside, some of the other stuff seemed rather unnecessary. They were more of material wants rather than needs. 

I mean surely I can live without my fancy Lush cosmetics right? Okay let’s not get crazy, no I can’t. That sh*t keeps me from breaking out like a hormone crazed teenager. 

But what dawned upon me is how everywhere you look there is news headlines of how it’s getting harder and harder to be successful and independent in today’s day and age. I read one particular news line which stated in order to even be a homeowner you need to be a millionaire. 

Well, actually, that’s not necessarily true in my opinion. One could find reasonable living accommodation if their goals were set to a more realistic standard. 

If we all stopped trying to live so far out of our means then perhaps we could live a stressfree easy going life. 

It would be as simple as working for how much we need and paying our bills and that would be that. No need to wish for more, need more, want more, and be devastated when you can’t have what you so very badly desire. 

It makes sense to think that people were generally happier when times were simpler. Before the days of iPads, smartphones, the need for extravagant nights out, and fancy cars – everyone just enjoyed being happy and healthy. 

Time spent with loved ones was what mattered most. An expensive bottle of wine next to a $50 streak wasn’t necessary in order to have the perfect date night. An evening in with a movie and copious amounts of popcorn would’ve done the trick. 

Maybe it’s time we all just stop living for the next big thing and soak in what we’ve got around us. Be grateful for what you have and perhaps you’ll realize that’s all you really need. 

What are your thoughts on frugal vs. extravagant living? Are you more of a “if you got it flaunt it type of person?” I feel as though Indo-Canadians get a lot of flack for following this type of way of living – living large that is. To each their own? Or do some changes need to be made? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below! 

Scaredy Cats Never Prosper 

You hear it all growing up. Live life with courage. Be your own person. You’re only young once. And it all goes in one ear and out the other. 
I was one of those kids that was sh*t scared of everything. My own shadow sent me screaming bloody murder the other direction. My parents and siblings encouraged me to toughen up and get out there, “be a normal kid.” But I just COULDN’T. 

I was too scared of the unknown, I felt I didn’t belong. I was anxious. Really anxious. All. The. Time. Nervous cute shyness soon grew into full blown social awkwardness. I kept guards up from people so they couldn’t get to know how “weird” I was. I just didn’t feel like I fit in. The more I distanced myself the more estranged from life I became. I never participated in any extra curricular activities. I never joined a sport and avoided any type of activity which would draw attention to me like the plague. Basically I wasn’t even living life. 
Then I met this outrageously outgoing and fun loving guy. My polar opposite. He loved doing crazy things. He loved being the class clown centre of attention kind of guy. He had a zest for life and made it his personal mission to spark mine up too. 

We dated and as many of you know we got married about a decade later. Well that too was me choosing the “safe” option. I got married before I even set my life up and carved out a individual identity for myself. Now instead of hiding behind my mom – I hid behind him. I was now an extension of him. I just swapped my family for his and carried on being an adult child. Not a good way to live – especially when you are now raising a child of your own. 
So getting married didn’t snap me out of this fear, as didn’t the protests of my family to make something of myself first. I might’ve been a pansy but I was a head strong pansy. I wasn’t taking no for an answer. I thought I could live happily being subordinate to others. That was a recipe for disaster. 

So where’s that bring us now? That brings me to finally finding something that’s mine. Literature. The love of words and all the power they hold within them. The ability for one excerpt from one well written phrase or one line from a movie to just transform your entire day. And that’s exactly what I set out to do with my fiction novel I am writing. Perhaps it won’t amount to anything – or maybe it’ll be everything. But I do know I don’t want to be afraid anymore. And that’s what this book is for me. It’s me getting myself out there. Without being so damn worried about what others think. 
So for me, the fact that I’m writing it makes it a huge success already. 

And to those who support me, thank you, you all are the ones who push me in the right direction. The direction of moving onward and upward. Not shying away or hiding from the “scary” and unknown. 
Thanks for all the support. And as soon as my books done I can’t wait for you all to enjoy it as much as I am enjoying pouring myself into it. 
Have a wonderfully restful Sunday.

 
– Amrita xox 

 

Why The Secrets to Life are Hidden in Cliches

I’ve discovered the secrets to a happy life! Guess what – they’re all hidden in life’s cliches. Those tired and overused expressions which have been repeated so many times that they have lost their original meaning or effect on people. Well, it’s most likely the case that they’ve stuck around so long because they have some truth to them. When applied correctly – they are the perfect formula for success and happiness! 

So here goes folks – I’ll share a few of what I believe to be the most important tenets to apply for a happy life:

If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all. We’ve all heard this one time and time again but have you ever really given it any deep thought? Has it ever occurred to you that each time you open your mouth to spew some sort of negative opinion or criticism you are just emitting bad energy into the world which actually only effects you – the one whose constantly only seeing things for their flaws?

It is important to always see the glass as half full not half empty. Life is about working with what you got. So if you’re constantly focused on what you DON’T have instead of what you DO you’re going to feel a sense of emptiness for all the things you feel you are missing. Feel content and satisfied with your life by valuing all that surrounds you which you are most likely currently overlooking.

You made your bed so lay in it. Don’t be constantly complaining about everything because chances are things are the way they are because you made a particular pattern of choices which has led you to your current state. You’re an adult so take ownership of those decisions and DEAL WITH IT!

Now here’s a good one for me personally –

Practice what you preach. It’s not enough to just drone on about being a good and positive person – you have to actually embody the qualities which you SAY are important. Without actually utilizing your own knowledge in every facet of your life it will not have any benefit to you because remember …

Actions speak louder than words. We are defined by our thoughts and words only because they are usually expressed in the form of an action. We typically become what we constantly think or say. Justifiably so as it is what we do that matters. This is why although our physical actions may be a more adequate portrayal of ourselves we must remember where the courses of action or habits we have originate from – our thoughts. So keep those in check and you’ll usually be a person who always acts in accordance to your own moral compass.

Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. People who truly care for you will provide unconditional love – despite all your shortcomings. They won’t call for perfection or draw attention to your every downfall. They won’t feel the need to pinpoint each and every instance of error in your life. They will simply just be a supportive, motivating, and loving force in your life there to lift you higher and not bring you down. It is these type of people that you must surround yourself with because anyone else most likely simply does not have your best interest at heart. Pay attention and eliminate those from your life who seem to always be blasting out your failures but never cheering on your successes.

Treat others how you would like to be treated. Yes it’s easy to be a shitty person. It’s easy to think you’re above others and not give a second care about how you make others feel with your words, actions, and just general vibe in life. However, eventually you’ll have someone doing this to you and it won’t feel all that great. So the next time you feel like tearing someone down – just remember every time you treat someone else poorly – you are only attracting such energy to yourself. You get what you give and…

What goes around comes back around. Now this doesn’t necessarily have to do with the “heebie-jeebie” details of “karma” it can also just be the scientific laws of attraction. If you are constantly putting out a “downer” vibe, this is what you will be dubbed as, as a result these are the types of people you will attract, and this is the type of lifestyle you will begin to live because it’s all you’re surrounded by. Remember positivity breeds positivity and negativity only consumes.

Last but not least:

Happiness is a choice. Life can really suck. Like I mean it can get pretty damn shitty – if you let it. We are all in control of our own destinies. This doesn’t mean that we can make it so that bad things won’t happen to us. Because they will. And when they do it’s usually Sod’s law that it comes in piles. BUT you have to remember that YOU control your own reaction to those heaps of crappy events or circumstances. You are the one who can simply choose to be happy instead of angry, sad, or defeated. So the next time you find yourself faced with a situation that makes your blood boil – just take a step back, think about that situation in retrospect to your entire life, and decide that you will not let it ruin your entire day. You will CHOOSE to not allow external events control your internal emotions. 

There are so many more of these little
tidbits of wisdom and so much more to be said about them but I absolutely promise you if you apply even one of these you will have a substantially improved life. There is absolutely no way inhabiting these factors won’t have a positive effect on your life – it’s just a matter of you making that change and applying these simple but true life lessons!